The Dynamo Ascension: A Prog-Rock Project Lyric 6

Dynamo Fiction

In a tree in a forest is Dynamoland
Never been touched by human hand
Home of pixies, fairies and sprites
Who only dare come out at night

It’s been there since nineteen eighteen
And since that day it’s been serene
It’s a land always full of joy
Away from all the hoy paloy

The pixies like to dance and sing
With fairies swaying wing to wing
The sprites are always having fun
Since the day Dynamoland begun

If you don’t believe this fable
Find the forest and you’ll be able
To see the glow of that tree at night
As it exudes a peaceful aura light

Because Dynamoland isn’t Dynamo Fiction
Oh no Dynamoland isn’t Dynamo Fiction

Because Dynamoland isn’t Dynamo Fiction
Oh no Dynamoland isn’t Dynamo Fiction

The Dynamo Ascension: A Prog-Rock Project Lyric 5

Dynamo Kamikaze

I don’t know
Said the dynamo
To the man
From Japan
From his pocket he pulled a photo
And in the photo I saw Kyoto

He told me about his home land
I told him about the Dynamo band
He was drinking Saki from a flagon
Then he went to relieve the dragon

(Chorus)
I met a kamikaze on a Virgin train
He had so much to drink he couldn’t fly the plane
Because of all the Saki he never made his attack
Was exiled from Japan and could never go back

When my Japanese friend returned
He told his story and I learned
That the little chap was a suicide gunner
But he’d failed and had to do a runner

He missed his country but not his wife
She was the reason he was gonna end his life
She was a dragon and never let him out
In case he drank Saki and slept about

(Chorus)
I met a kamikaze on a Virgin train
He had so much to drink he couldn’t fly the plane
Because of all the Saki he never made his attack
Was exiled from Japan and could never go back

He was from the land of the rising sun
He came to England to have some fun
He was from the land of the rising sun
He came to England to have some fun
(Repeat til song fades out)

The Dynamo Ascension: A Prog-Rock Project Lyric 4

Telephone Call From The Man on the Moon

This is the story of a man named Bjorn
He’s lived on the moon since the day he was born

He lives off its water and its cheese
He’s never had to work or pay any fees
He spends everyday on the moon all alone
With nothing for company except his phone

He makes calls to earth just to pass the time
He doesn’t feel that that’s a crime
To have someone to talk to everyday
He just reverses the charges so he doesn’t have to pay

I spoke to the man on the moon for half an hour
I told him all about Dynamo power
Now I can’t pay my phone bill cos it’s so large
Because the man on the moon reversed the charge

I wrote him a letter to pay me back
And put the envelope in a cosmonaut’s sack
When he got the letter he gave me a ring
But he still did his reverse charge thing

He told me that on the moon there’s no money
Because he has no use for currency
He gets his water and his cheese for free
And now there’s no way that he can pay me

I spoke to the man on the moon for half an hour
I told him all about Dynamo power
Now I can’t pay my phone bill cos it’s so large
Because the man on the moon reversed the charge

The Dynamo Ascension: A Prog-Rock Project Lyric 3

The Sun Maid

Smiling girl with eyes forlorn
On that red box it’s like gastro-porn
She’s a trademark- a commodity
Longing for someone to set her free

The Sun Maid
Like Dorian Gray
The Sun Maid
Never ages a day
The Sun Maid
As she grips her tray
She longs for someone
To take her away

Forever feeling frozen
Forever feeling lost
She wonders what her
Freedom would cost
Eternal youth and constant fame
But all she wants is to have real name

The Sun Maid
Like Dorian Gray
The Sun Maid
Never ages a day
The Sun Maid
As she grips her tray
She longs for someone
To take her away

No-Waysis

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/manchester/8110671.stm

How on earth can Noel Gallagher complain about 'cheeky' fans taking up the offer of a refund of their ticket for their Heaton Park gig? Has he not got enough money? I'm amazed all 70,000 haven't asked for a refund. Would they not themselves, as young scrotes before becoming multi-millionaires, take up the generous offer if they'd paid through the nose for a sub-standard gig? I think they would.

If their management had made this offer after the gig then fair enough. But to make this offer on-stage- clearly as an attempt to win back the affections of the disappointed fans- then to subsequently whinge when people take them up is ridiculous.

At the time he said "Let's 'ave it!" and now the fans are saying "Yes please!" Take it like a man- don't try and make them feel guilty for it.

The Dynamo Ascension: A Prog-Rock Project Lyric 2

The Dynamo Man

He’s a giant with an aggressive streak
He preys on the strong but defends the weak
He’ll even make you cry and scream
Unless you agree to join his commie regime

The Dynamo Man
Like Robin Hood
The Dynamo Man
He fights for good
The Dynamo Man
Started the riot on May Day
He’ll control your life
In every way

He’s not a fascist he’s a hero
And his tolerance equals zero
He wants his population to be equal
He’s gonna make a 1984 sequel

The Dynamo Man
Like Robin Hood
The Dynamo Man
He fights for good
The Dynamo Man
Started the riot on May Day
He’ll control your life
In every way

The Dynamo Man
He’s never wrong
The Dynamo Man
Co-wrote this song
The Dynamo Man
Dynamo in his chest
Everyone hail
Because he’s the best

The Dynamo Ascension: A Prog-Rock Project Lyric 1

My side project of the Tokyo Beatbox years was called 'The Dynamo Ascension'. I will be placing some lyrics from that era on this blog for two reasons:

1. Because I found them
2. Because they're great!

Here's the first:

The Dynamo Ascension

Magnets and coils power the dynamo
Ascending to places you’ll never know
In a world that’s not comprehending
This is the sound of the dynamo ascending

Ascending to the highest heights
High above the trees and kites
In a world that’s not comprehending
This is the sound of the dynamo ascending

Its power is something to be treasured
Greater than can ever be measured
In a world that’s not comprehending
This is the sound of the dynamo ascending

As electromagnetic fields collide
You must accept the dynamo pride
In a world that’s not comprehending
This is the sound of the dynamo ascending

With the world in the palm of its hand
All must bow down to The Dynamo Band
The Dynamo Ascension has been completed
The world as you know it has been defeated

The Dynamo Ascension has been completed
The world as you know it has been defeated

Number 5: Dire Straits- Walk Of Life

Often at discos or parties I can be heard saying 'I hate this song- it's one of my five least favourite songs'. People often feign interest and ask 'what else is in your top 5?' As I am not usually in the right frame of mind to put the required thought into the answer I feign thinking and wait for the next song. Thus this list is born.

I regrettably kick of my official 'Top 5: Worst Songs' (or should it simply be 'Worst 5: Songs'?) with a great band. I love Dire Straits…except this travesty. The sound of its horrendously cheerful ‘doo-doo de-de-doo-de-doo doo-doo’ organ backing track instantly gets my back up. Its general cheesiness really grinds my gears- it doesn’t fit in with the general ambience of Brothers In Arms (an otherwise great album).



Then there’s the video. I’m not a great fan of Dire Straits videos at the best of times (the video for ‘Romeo & Juliet’ is a particularly unimaginative and uninspiring and I suspect ‘Money For Nothing’ was how the record company described the video for the song of the same name when they saw it) but ‘Walk Of Life’ really takes the biscuit. The band in terrible 80’s clothes (with the possible exception of Mark Knopfler) intertwined with sports bloopers that remind me of Lisa Riley era ‘You’ve Been Framed’. For a start none of the clips are remotely amusing. The fact they are all American sports shows it is clearly aimed at an American audience. The Geordies should’ve looked closer to home - Gazza, Beardsley and Glenn ‘Leather Jacket’ Roeder were all playing for Newcastle United at the time for crying out loud.

Whenever I hear the song I just wish I was listening to ‘Sultans Of Swing’, ‘Money For Nothing’ or ‘Romeo & Juliet’.

Dire Straits - Walk Of Life
Uploaded by Dire-Straits